For the record, I will absolutely shove cacti up my ass before I sleep in a matatu.
I remember the summer I learned what a tremolo was. I also remember trying it for the first time. It was a disaster lol. I use it less now. Do we still use ‘lol’ as an actual indication of laughter? It sounds a bit aggressive to be honest.
How much of myself can I lose before I am deemed unoriginal?
What does it mean to be authentic? What are the bounds of authenticity? Who defines authenticity? In today’s global village, where people, tradition, and tongues travel globally and freely in a matter of seconds, is authenticity really preserved?
I get the appeal to be authentic. Originality allows for preservation. It aids in understanding the people of the past, what they did and why. But I think it is important to understand who you awe authenticity; yourself, or the past.
How much of myself can I lose before I am deemed unoriginal?
I have three more weeks in Kenya. Only in June did I realize that I do not live here anymore. Considering I spent 11 of the 12 months in the Netherlands, that realization may seem odd to some, yet familiar to many expats. Looking back on the last 10 months, I can see how much I clung to my Kenyan self; my accent, my dress, my mannerisms. I was scared to lose myself, scared to be a less version of myself.
How much of myself can I lose before I am deemed unoriginal?
What defines ‘me’? If I cook my sukuma with cinnamon, is it any less authentic than my mother's ‘only salt’ greens? If I put on a short dress and some makeup, am I betraying some version of me that wouldn’t? If I pick up a Dutch accent (because, you know, I live there), am I any less of my Kenyan self?
How much of myself can I lose before I am deemed unoriginal?
So is authenticity overrated? In a way, I guess. The thing is, I think the need to be ‘authentic’ to the past may rob us of the opportunity to grow. If I am constantly gauging my current actions against a set of previous actions, how much change do I allow myself to realize? And how retrogressive can that be to our society?
One of my favorite quotes in high school was ‘to define is to limit’. Did I like it because I was a confused teenager who was questioning her mental stability? Yes. Did it comfort me since I had no pressure to define ‘Yunuke’ beyond my standards? Yes, it did. There is a lot of relief that comes from the freedom from definitions, bound only by one’s morals and standards, which are also fluid and changing in time. My point? The authentic serves one purpose; a viewpoint. It allows us to look into the past of a people and generation. The original is not a boundary, it is the beginning of growth in all directions possible.
How much of myself can I lose before I am deemed unoriginal?
Lose or not. Change or don’t. The fear of being different from the original should not hold you from reaching beyond the familiar and creating new paths. You do not awe anyone authenticity, not in this scenario anyway. You awe yourself growth.
I do have a matatu horror story, funny enough it has a lot to do with sleeping in one. Story for another day.
PS: I’ve had this written down for two weeks now. I’m not exactly sure I even agree with myself (lol), but it gives me a bit of comfort, an excuse of sorts. If I come back in two days and say anything different, please forgive me.
You should try the pilau😅😆
I've enjoyed reading this article and sort of didn't want it to end. Chic! I didn't know you write. Brilliant piece 👌